darkness

Last night I was not a happy person. When my tears stopped, I wrote the following and thought I'd share with you, to give you more of an idea about who I am underneath this avatar.

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It's dark in here
So very dark
I don't like the dark
This blackness that surrounds me
Do you feel it?
Creeping inside me
Filling me up
It wont let me go
And I can't escape it

Do you feel it?
or is it just me?
The dark around me
Inside me and outside me
Painting my very soul
I hate this darkness
It screams of pain
Let me out of here
Before the darkness consumes me

An eternity in the dark
No light at all
There's things in the darkness
Nasty and mean
Things that love to torment
Things of blackness
Wait I'm covered in black
Am I becoming one of these things?
I am not mean or nasty

I just exist in the dark
As it exists in me
Nasty and mean things
Live in the dark with me
Never leaving me alone
Tormenting me in the dark
I can't see them
When will they strike next?

Living in the darkness
Is not a pleasant experience
I can't escape the dark
I'm bound to its will
This thing called darkness
It lives in my soul
I risk much
Telling you this

Nasty mean things
Will ensure payment is taken
For me telling you
I live in the darkness
So very very dark
Inside me and outside me
Controlling my very soul
There is only darkness

How long before I fold?
Allow the darkness to win
I'm already under its spell
I can't escape the dark
It has become part of me
Now I must move on
Try to avoid the things
Mean and nasty they are

I must keep moving
To avoid their torment
Let me lose myself here
It is very very dark
This place that I live in
I don't like the dark
Inside me and outside me
Painting my very soul
No light at all